April Fool 2016

This too good to be true news article was published by “Strong Island” 

“Construction has commenced on the Solent Stone Bridge, a development which will see a free-to-use bridge installed between Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight. The four-mile bridge will be built entirely from boulders which were discovered beneath Portsmouth City Council’s Civic Offices during a recent archaeological dig conducted by the University of Portsmouth. Professor Doug A. Hole, Head of Discovery at the university, will work with Professor Christopher C. Christopherson, Head of Reusability, to plan and build the bridge. “We found a bunch of dusty old rocks at the Civic Offices,” Professor Hole told Team Locals, “and we figured, why not put them to good use?”

Unlike traditional bridges, the Solent Stone Bridge will be a long stretch of tiny stepping stones, as opposed to a continuous stable platform. Due to a design which puts unobstructed shipping lanes forward as a key priority, the bridge will only be accessible for a few minutes each day, at the lowest of tides. Councillor Jobs, Cabinet Member of Attempts at Innovation, said: “The stones are tightly-packed enough to be traversed by car.” When asked about whether cyclists will be able to use the bridge, Councillor Jobs said: “Cyclists?” Solent Stone Bridge, a project that is being privately-funded by Rocky Ideas Ltd., will span from the shoreline beside the Pyramids Centre to the seaward end of Ryde Pier. Commercial spaces will be available for lease along the bridge, with a Subway and three Costa coffeeshops already expected to open.

Randal Young, a local resident, praised the development, saying: “It’ll make it much easier to cross to the Isle of Wight. I’ll be popping over to Ryde a lot more now, so I can look back at Portsmouth and contemplate how pretty it looks from afar.” Mr. Swanson, another Portsmouth resident, seemed less ecstatic about the Solent Stone Bridge, telling us: “I know there’s something I dislike about this idea. I’m not one-hundred percent sure what it is yet, but I’ll definitely be thinking of something to complain about.” Solent Stone Bridge is set to open to the public on 31st September 2016″