Salisbury sing to the tune of Elvis

Salisbury NWR groups one and two joined together on 6 January 2015 for an Epiphany Party.

As well as consuming delicious nibbles, both savoury and sweet, we had exercised the little grey cells with a couple of anagram quizzes and a picture quiz on Salisbury below eye level that certainly separated the highly observant from those who who are too busy trying not to stumble on Salisbury’s uneven pavements!

Add the necessary ingredient of lots of NWR chatter amongst members after the Christmas break and a hilarious session of very un-Oscar-like acting during a game of charades, we were well-primed for the pièce de résistance of Daphne’s song!

Around fifteen years ago, Daphne was staying at a hotel on the Isle of Wight when one evening, an extremely elegant and well-coiffed lady in her 80s named Kath, stood up and performed during an entertainment evening, launching into a parody of Elvis’ hit Are You Lonesome Tonight. On this, our Epiphany party night, Daphne produced the words of Kath’s lyrical spoof for us to sing as an ensemble. Totally unrehearsed, with no accompanist and amongst chortles and cackles, our group rendition was surprisingly still recognisable (just!!).

The lyrics went like this:

‘Are you lonesome tonight
Is your brassiere too tight
Are your corsets all falling apart?

Have you got a big chest
Wearing holes in your vest
Does your spare tyre reach up to your heart?

Are your stockings all wrinkled,
Your shoes wearing thin?
Are your knickers held up
With a big safety pin?

Are your false teeth all worn
Do they drop when you yawn?
There’s NO wonder you’re lonesome tonight’

I don’t think Salisbury groups would have made the Top 10 with this off-the-cuff, unrehearsed interpretation of the sixties hit by The King, and we were far from deadpan, but the words of the parody surely resonated with some of us!

Vanessa Moulding | NWR Salisbury


Have a go at these lyrics with your group and then let us know how it was by leaving your comments below.